i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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