I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
