I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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