My liver just broke up with me...
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Green mimosas i think yes
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
