He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
