first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
My vagina just clenched in fear
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
