Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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