the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
