did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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