She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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