Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
