im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You were trust falling into bushes
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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