my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize