so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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