he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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