So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
