if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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