he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
