In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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