plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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