I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
