Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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