I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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