My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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