Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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