Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I want to be your penis for a week.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
that is very illegal...i love you.
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