last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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