Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
