a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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