So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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