hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
