he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
