I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
