Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Randomize
