what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
