the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
