how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
