he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
