I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
