Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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