I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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