There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
