Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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