In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
