Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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