dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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