don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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