Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
