You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
