Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
