She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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