I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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