hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
