Yo dont text me then not text me
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize