I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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