I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
