All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
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I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
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Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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