i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
how drunk are you?
Several
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
