its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Randomize
