I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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