Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize