Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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